How to Repair a Troubled Business Relationship

挑战性的k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗际关系会对你的工作产生毁灭性的影响, 更不用说他们会对你的个k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗幸福和工作满意度造成的损害了.

一个熟练的专业k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗员可以主动管理和参与他们最困难的利益相关者. That said, 在你的职业生涯中，有时你会发现自己面临着一段破裂或紧张的关系，这是非常正常的.

修复受损关系的能力是一项重要的技能(如果被低估了的话). Unfortunately, 很少有k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗懂得或经常实践修复一段困难关系所需的策略.

If you find yourself in this situation, 遵循这些重要的步骤，找到回归和平的方法，即使关系破裂的原因是根深蒂固的.

Seven Steps to Repairing a Business Relationship

1. Consciously step out of judgment.

日复一日的紧张关系会侵蚀我们保持客观的能力. Faced with constant, low-grade emotional stress, 许多k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗发现自己陷入了评判和沮丧的境地. 有些k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗把这种挫败感转移到自己身上(“我怎么能让这种事发生?”). Others fall into a pattern of blaming the other person. Most people do both.

When we’re in a mental space of judgment, it’s nearly impossible to approach the relationship productively. If you want to rehabilitate the relationship, 首先和自己达成一个协议，放弃你先入之见和感觉.

 

2. Experience the relationship from a new point of view.

You already know your side of the story. Now it’s time to get in touch with the other side. Here’s a 15-minute thought experiment for you to try. 它将帮助你更好地理解关系破裂的根本原因，这样你就可以确定使关系回到正轨所需的策略.

写下你与难缠的利益相关者之间的关系—but from the other person’s perspective. Consider:

• How did the relationship start? When did you first meet?
• What were their likely first impressions of you?
• What were your early frustrations?
• How were those frustrations reinforced over time?
• What do you fear or feel threatened by now?

Once you’re done, 阅读故事，圈出你对他k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗动机和信仰的任何假设. What evidence do you have to assume these motivations? 有证据证明这些假设无效或不成立吗?

 

3. Document current state behaviors.

Next, 记录下双方当前的行为状态——尤其是那些对你的工作效率有负面影响的行为. Behaviors 简单的可观察的行为是否与任何动机或判断分离. Consider the difference:

• Greg frequently skips meetings I’ve invited him to.
• Not a Behavior. Greg does not respect my time.

 

• Greg interrupts me frequently and in public.
• Not a Behavior. Greg actively tries to make me look bad in front of our boss.

 

Now, document your counter-behaviors. 你是如何回应(或预期)你刚刚写下的行为的. 这些反制措施是有利于还是进一步恶化两国关系?

 

4. Establish relationship intent.

Now it’s time to establish what success looks like. What does success look like for this relationship? 您希望从这个涉众那里看到哪些行为? You may not be able to control what the other person does, but you can define and document a target to aim for. 下面是一些关系意图的例子，使用我们上面写的行为.

• Intent: 葛瑞格平等地参加和参与与我们共同工作有关的会议(说和听).
• Intent: When Greg has a disagreement with me, he shares it with me directly, in private before or after a meeting.

 

5. Perform a Stop/Start/Keep.

You can’t change your stakeholder’s behavior, 但你可以通过保持意识并调整你确定的“应对措施”来塑造它.一种方法是为你自己的行为写下一个简单的停止/开始/保留:

• 为了重建(或至少停止伤害)你们的关系，你需要停止做什么?
  • 不要在会议上用我知道他会不同意的陈述来引诱格雷格. (这是我做的一个反向动作，因为我担心以后会被打断.)
• What could you START doing to rebuild the relationship?
  • 例子:开始重复或确认我在会议上正确地听到了格雷格的立场.
• 你应该继续做什么，才能有效地改变关系中的破坏性模式?
  • 继续邀请格雷格参加会议，提前和他见面，预先了解他的立场和关注的问题.

 

6. Commit to change.

已经陷入困境的关系不可能在一夜之间恢复. 它们需要持续的行为调整，以建立信任和理解.

While some relationships may warrant a “mea culpa,” particularly if you’ve uncovered troubling behavior of your own, 一个笼统的道歉或关系的重置只有在你之后表现出来的行为才有效果.

考虑在你的日历上每周给自己发一次私k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗邀请，持续一个月, during which you evaluate, re-assess, 并再次承诺修复关系——根据哪些是有效的，哪些是无效的，更新你的开始/停止/保持.

 

7. Anticipate pressure to change back.

任何关系的改变——无论多么有建设性——都可能对双方造成不稳定. Expect both of you to fall into old patterns sometimes. 事实上，你可能会从这样做中感受到一种小小的满足感或舒适感.

When this happens, 提醒自己你选择的道路，以及为什么改变很重要. Focus on maintaining the new patterns you’ve chosen to follow, even if it feels uncomfortable for a time.

 

A Final Note of Encouragement…

In the end, not every relationship can be salvaged. But regardless of the relationship outcome, 按照上面的步骤做会给你带来巨大的好处, the team, and the work at hand.

Repeated over time across many relationships, 这个解决关系问题的框架将帮助你建立信誉，让你成为一个容易相处的k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗——这种声誉将在未来的关系中为你服务. At the same time, 你可能会注意到工作(和团队绩效)因为你的改变而得到了改善 own behaviors.

And finally? You can rest well, knowing that despite the outcome, 你正在成长和发展成为一个k8彩乐园app下载无弹窗者——培养你在任何领域取得成功所需要的勇气和弱点.